Joke

[maxx-pekines]

A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. "Oh, it was very disappointing," he said. "I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital."

[maxx-pekines]

The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"

[maxx-pekines]

A: -How big bees are in Texas! They aare cow-sized!
B: - And the door-hole in their bee-houses is like one for normal bees?
A: - Yes.
B: - And how that cow-sized bees get in or out?
A: - Squeak but climb!

[maxx-pekines]

Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"
Johnny: "Nothing, sir."
Principal: "Exactly!"

[maxx-pekines]

An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.

"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

[maxx-pekines]

If you make four mistakes in spelling word «loaf»* it makes «beer»

[maxx-pekines]

Doppler effect is the change in frequency of a wave for an observer moving relative to the source of the wave. If object moves from observer the length of wave of light gets shorter, of object moves to observer the length of wave of light gets lengthener. How can we observe it?
When you drive at night you can see the white light from approaching cars and red light from cars going away.*
* If you don’t get it I can’t fix it. Sorry.

[maxx-pekines]

2 hours of chatting with mom. missing her so much…
3 hours of doing homework with son…
4 hours of explaining to wife how to change flat tire…
I’m so sick and tired waiting for freaking elevator maintenance to set me free…*

[maxx-pekines]

- Yes, it’s true that all of us Belorussians, Russians, Ukrainians want to live in one big and rich state…
- … in Canada!

[decko]

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied.

"It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers' license It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."