jokes in english

[csocsike]

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind

[Spanky]

The girls should like this one,

Navajo wisdom,


All women can benefit from the wisdom of the Navajo.

A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she comes upon
a Navajo woman hitchhiking. Because the trip has been long and quiet,
she stops the car and the Navajo woman climbs in.
During their small talk, the Navajo woman glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them.
"If you're wondering what's in the bag," offers the woman, "it's a bottle of wine;
I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman is silent for a while, nods several times and says,
"Good trade"

[saga]

Nursing home care

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.

Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.

"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."

[saga]

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does

[saga]

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

[saga]

How to pick a woman.....

A man is dating three women....so he wants to pick one to marry. He
decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000,
and then watches to see what they each do with The money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets
her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits and dresses up
very nicely for the man. She tells him that she Has done this to be more
attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of
golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times
the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in
a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money he'd given her.





Then, he married the one with the biggest tits.

Men are like that, you know

[csocsike]

Ez jo volt es sajna igaz

[karibcsaj]

True dat.

Men are pigs. <_<

...So many pigs, so little time...! B) hehe

[csocsike]

Na de kerlek? Hogy mondhatsz ilyet. szivar

[Spanky]

Unselfish Husband

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified
to find her husband in bed with a lovely young thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband
stopped her with these words:
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.
Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered
her a ride.
She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast
you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you don't
wear, because they're out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore
even once because the color didn't suit you.
Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't
fit into anymore.
Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked,
'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?'
"And so, here we are!"