Subject: Corporate Lessons
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing
over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens
the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a
word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to
the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was
Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did
he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road;
he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely
leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealth fully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him
and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was
flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his
hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Farther on
while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest
Apologized, "Sorry, Sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, farther up, you will
find glory."
Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, you might miss a
great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson #3
Usually the staff of the company play football. The middle level managers
are more interested in Tennis. The top management usually has preference
for Golf.
Finding: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.
Corporate Lesson 4
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
the world." Poof! She's gone.In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says
the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my
life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
after lunch."
Moral of story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 5
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered:
"Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing
over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens
the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a
word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to
the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was
Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did
he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road;
he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely
leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealth fully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him
and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was
flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his
hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Farther on
while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest
Apologized, "Sorry, Sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, farther up, you will
find glory."
Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, you might miss a
great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson #3
Usually the staff of the company play football. The middle level managers
are more interested in Tennis. The top management usually has preference
for Golf.
Finding: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.
Corporate Lesson 4
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
the world." Poof! She's gone.In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says
the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my
life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the
manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office
after lunch."
Moral of story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 5
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered:
"Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
