Happy day

Hilarious... Thanks for cheering me up! (I've heard there are actually mice and cockroaches living in Toronto... has anybody written a song to them?
It is good to know there are these annoying creatures of wildlife here... in this abyss of concrete and asphalt ... so here's a health to the blackflies!

E.Ágnes írta:

Hilarious... Thanks for cheering me up! (I've heard there are actually mice and cockroaches living in Toronto... has anybody written a song to them?
It is good to know there are these annoying creatures of wildlife here... in this abyss of concrete and asphalt ... so here's a health to the blackflies!

Kattints a kibontásához...

Agnes, Canadians aren't lyric enough to write songs to mice and cockroaches

One pest I haven't found in Toronto (or for that matter wherever I travelled in Canada) are bedbugs, which used to torment us immediately after the siege of Budapest. I will never forget how our landlord torched them with burning cigarettes on his bedroom's walls The only time I encountered tthese creepy-crawlies since then was in a hotel room in Beaune, France. I won't forget that night when they were all over me feasting on my blood.

I wasn't sure where to place this little vers... so I put it here... if it's ok... well... if not it's here already
If you're asking if I need you, The answer is forever..........
If you're asking if I leave you, The answer is never.........
If you're asking what I value, The answer is You........
If you're asking if I love you.... The answer I do..
It is so Cute.. so.... hm... ok..

agiflower írta:

I wasn't sure where to place this little vers... so I put it here... if it's ok... well... if not it's here already
If you're asking if I need you, The answer is forever..........
If you're asking if I leave you, The answer is never.........
If you're asking what I value, The answer is You........
If you're asking if I love you.... The answer I do..
It is so Cute.. so.... hm... ok..

Kattints a kibontásához...

This lyric is wonderfull. Who write it?

Imogen Heap - Can't take it in (The chronicles of Narnia)

Imogen Heap - Can't take it in

Music from the Chronicles of Narnia

Immigrant (or illiterate?) parents...

These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spellings) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas Medical Branch, Galveston

My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the sh*ts. [words in the ( )'s were crossed out]

\\m/ nemelyiknel meg az oldalamat is fogtam a hahotazastol.

(s csak azert irtam magyarul, mert nem tudni mondani angolul: "fogtam az oldalamat" hehehe....)

Jó de azt hiszem 400 óra angol tanulás után is az van bennem, hogy soha nem tanulok meg angolul.

I would silently suggest that the only way to speak the language generally well, might not be a couple of english courses, rather being in situations, in which english is the only language to use. I just mean, that the knowledge, received on lessons, is not mainly enough to know, how to express yourself in any special situation, which you can only get used to them, when you are a part of them. Sorry for my terrible grammar

No problem, keep up the good work...


These entries come from church bulletins and announcements. Go to http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/index.html for more!

1) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
2) Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social. All ladies giving milk please come early.
3) Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
4) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.
5) The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
6) On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
7) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
8) Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.
9) This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.
10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
13) The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
14) Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.
15) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
16) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
17) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
18) Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
19) Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
20) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
21) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
22) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
23) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
24) 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
25) Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
26) A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
27) Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
28) Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

29) On a church bulletin during the minister's illness:
GOD IS GOOD
Dr. Hargreaves is better.

30) Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
31) Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

From "Anguished English," by Richard Lederer. <HR>

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David A. Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs Julius Belzer.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

<HR>These sentences actually appeared in a church bulletin or were announced in a church service:


Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water"
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor John's sermons.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."