# for chuckles



## Boszi (2004 Szeptember 21)

Ramblings of a Retired Mind - 

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that 
everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door 
opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't 
like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have 
something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is 
falling into your drawers! 

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you 
got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" 

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an 
emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" 

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we 
supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on 
the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the 
mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!


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## Boszi (2004 Szeptember 25)




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## Spanky (2004 Október 30)

A guy goes into a sex shop and asks for a rubber doll. The guy behind
the counter says "Normal or Muslim?". 
"What's the difference?" asks the
customer. 
"The Muslim one blows itself up."


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## Gabizita (2004 Október 30)




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## Spanky (2004 November 5)

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what's the
difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if
she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a
million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Mom, would you sleep with
Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I
would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you
kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad
Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom
Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you
know how much a million could buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes, Sir. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three
million dollars ............ but, Realistically ......... we're living
with two sluts and a queer.


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## Gabizita (2004 November 5)

:rohog :rohog 
Hat Robert Redforddal meg negyedmillioert is


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## saga (2004 November 10)

A Russian and an Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the
>>Olympic Gold medal. Before the final match, the Newfie wrestler's trainer
>>came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on
>>this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he
>>has, whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does,
>>you're finished!"
>>
>>The Newfie nodded in acknowledgement. As the match started, the Newfie and
>>the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening.
>>
>>All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Newfie and
>>wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment 
>>arose
>>from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew
>>all was lost.
>>
>>He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
>>
>>Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer
>>raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air.
>>His back hit the mat with a thud and the Newfoundlander collapsed on top 
>>of
>>him making the pin and winning the match.
>>
>>The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone he
>>asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it
>>before!"
>>
>>The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in
>>that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of
>>testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last
>>ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as 
>>hard
>>as I could."
>>
>>"So," the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
>>
>>"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own
>>nuts."


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## Boszi (2004 November 10)

:rohog :rohog good one


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## Ditta (2004 November 10)

[
>>
>>"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own
>>nuts."
[post=144127]Quoted post[/post]​[/quote]

This is a good one meno meno


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## Boszi (2004 November 11)

Subject: Even God enjoys a laugh!


There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother."
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time..
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was one at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures

But the most compelling evidence of all: three proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just
didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.


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## Spanky (2004 November 24)

Guess her cup size

[attachmentid=8947]


OK what did you guess?








The truth revealed........Scroll down












[attachmentid=8947]


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## Gabizita (2004 November 24)

:rohog :rohog :rohog


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## saga (2004 November 25)

The female pharmacist 

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. 
The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she 
and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. 
She then asked if she could help the gentleman. 

The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable 
discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that 
she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he 
could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of 
professionalism. 

The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I 
have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe 
embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it." 
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister." 

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute 
best we can do is, 1/3 ownership of the shop, a company car, and $3,000 a month 
living expenses."


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## Boszi (2004 November 25)

:rohog :rohog cool


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## Ditta (2004 November 26)

:rohog :rohog :rohog meno


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## Ditta (2004 November 26)

h34r:


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## Ditta (2004 November 26)

:evil


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## Spanky (2004 November 29)

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working 
cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, 
doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, on tractors, and 
feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian.

I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the 
morning, I think about women. When I shower, think about women. When I 
watch TV, I think about women.
I even think about women when I eat.
It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old 
cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was but I just found out I'm a lesbian."


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## Ditta (2004 December 12)

How To Clean Your Toilet - The Fun Way
Instructions on how to clean your toilet

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.

You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that
come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and
rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no
people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and
run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog


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## Ditta (2004 December 12)

:rohog


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## Spanky (2004 December 14)

*I got a phone call from a gorgeous 
ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.
We lost track of time, chatting about 
the good times we used to have together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd 
like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now!
I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when 
you last saw me!"
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet 
the challenge!
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't 
mind a man with a waistband
that's a few inches wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so 
silly! She teased me, saying that
she thought tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway", "I've put on a couple of pounds 
myself!" she giggled...
..so I told her to f*** off.*


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## Boszi (2004 December 14)




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## Boszi (2004 December 14)

THESE ONES I LOVE 


Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on
the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the
noose.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around
him OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about
the screwing part.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman
to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"


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## Boszi (2004 December 14)




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## Boszi (2004 December 14)




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## Spanky (2004 December 17)

*Tim Allen had this to say about Martha Stewart:* 

"Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. Simpson & Kobe Bryant 
are walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one 
woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul 
her ass to jail."


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## htopi (2004 December 17)

> _Originally posted by Boszi_@Dec 14 2004, 12:52 PM
> *
> [post=150323]Quoted post[/post]​*


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## lilli (2005 Január 18)

Boszi :

"It's been my experience that women with leftist beliefs are much better in bed then those from the far right of the political spectrum. The best lays I've ever had have always been women with left wing or libertarian political beliefs. They're much less inhibited then the right wing women I have been with. 


Rightwing women tend to be more fond of tradtional sex, afraid to experiment, afraid often of their own bodies ( unless they are really gorgeous, or "sculpted'), generally uncomfortable taking initiatvie, cuz they have the inborn feeling that they are truly inferior to men and that you're the boss... 

Also- it must be said- Leftie women are just smarter, therefore funnier and more entertaining (stupid people can not be funny, it takes brains), also more apt to think of fun dates, or outrageous positions during sex itself, or take the iniative because they feel equal to the guy ..."

:meghajolo


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## Spanky (2005 Január 31)

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their 
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. 
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. 
"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol 
was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy 
territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival 
knife. 
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy 
hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. 
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed 
four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with 
her bare hands.
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, 
"What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" 
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking."


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## Spanky (2005 Január 31)

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. 
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 
"Do you think I'll live to be 90?" 
He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco 
or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no", I replied. "I've never done 
either.
"Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye
steaks and barbecued ribs?" 
I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf / sailing /
ballooning /motorcycling / rock climbing?" 
"No I don't", I said. 
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"
"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to 
be 90?"


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## Spanky (2005 Január 31)

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a Drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at
her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said 
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you
know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."


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## lilli (2005 Február 1)

Surf City, Here She Comes
As Seniors Log On, New Tech Opens Some Quality-of-Life Doors

By Annys Shin
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, January 30, 2005; Page F01 

Sometimes the residents of the Kensington Park Retirement Community in Kensington don't know quite what to make of Carolyn Layton. 

At lunch one recent afternoon, Layton, 74, pulled up in her motorized chair to her usual table in the dining room. Josette, her regular lunch companion, was already there, picking the toppings off her pizza. 


"You should sell the rest of it on eBay," Layton joked. 
:rohog :rohog :rohog 
"What's that?" Josette asked. 

"It's an auction," Layton explained. 

"Oh."


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/artic...-2005Jan29.html


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## Spanky (2005 Február 2)

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?




All done? 

*válaszok holnak*




*ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ*

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
*116 years

2)Which country makes Panama hats?
*Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
*Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
*November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 
*Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
*Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name?
*Albert

8) What color is a purple finch?
*Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
*New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
*Orange, of course.


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## Spanky (2005 Február 2)

RECORD HIGH JUMP 

A new world's record in the high jump was set yesterday at a beach in the south of France. The picture below was taken just a few seconds before the jump took place!


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## Spanky (2005 Február 8)

*DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:*

>40-ish.............................................49
>Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone
>Athletic......................................No tits
>Average looking..................................Ugly
>Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
>Emotionally Secure......................On medication
>Feminist..........................................Fat
>Free spirit....................................Junkie
>Friendship first..........................Former slut
>Fun..........................................Annoying
>New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places
>Old-fashioned...............................No B.J.'s
>Open minded.................................Desperate
>Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
>Professional....................................Bitch
>Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
>Large frame................................Hugely Fat
>Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
>
>
>
>*WOMEN'S ENGLISH:*
>
>1. Yes = No
>2. No = Yes
>3. Maybe = No
>4. We need = I want..
>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
>7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
>8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
>9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
>10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think 
>about?
>
>*MEN'S ENGLISH:*
>
>
>1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>3. I am tired = I am tired
>4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage
>5. I love you = Let's have sex now
>6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
>8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
>9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
>11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


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## Spanky (2005 Április 22)

People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So SATAN walked up to the old man and said. "Don't you know who I am?" 

The man replied, "Yep, sure do." 

"Aren't you afraid of me?" SATAN asked. 

"Nope, sure ain't." Said the man. 

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked SATAN. 

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone. 

"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" 

"Yep," was the calm reply. 

"And you're still not afraid?" asked SATAN 

"Nope," said the old man. 

More than a little perturbed, SATAN asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" 

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."


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## Spanky (2005 Április 22)

People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So SATAN walked up to the old man and said. "Don't you know who I am?" 

The man replied, "Yep, sure do." 

"Aren't you afraid of me?" SATAN asked. 

"Nope, sure ain't." Said the man. 

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked SATAN. 

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone. 

"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" 

"Yep," was the calm reply. 

"And you're still not afraid?" asked SATAN 

"Nope," said the old man. 

More than a little perturbed, SATAN asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" 

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."


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## Boszi (2005 Április 28)

Complaining Husband



He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake. 

My biscuits were too hard... 

Not like his mother used to make. 



I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do. 



I pondered for an answer

As I was looking for a clue. 

Then I turned around and smacked him... 

Like his Mother used to do.


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## Boszi (2005 Április 28)

Subject: Ventriloquist
>
> A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs; and one night he's doing a
show
> in a small town in Texas, With his dummy on his knee, he starts going
> through his usual dumb blonde jokes. A blonde woman in the 4th row stands
on
> her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde
> jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women in that way?
> What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a
human
> being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at
> work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a
person.
> Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against
not
> only blondes, but women in general .... and all in the name of humor." The
> embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde yells: "You
> stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit sitting on your
> knee."
>


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## Boszi (2005 Április 28)

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. ..

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.


Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings


PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.



*Employer's response:......*


Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check. You can start ASAP


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## Boszi (2005 Április 28)

Subject: Little David
>
>
> Little David, who was Jewish, was failing math. His parents tried
> everything. Tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers, and
> nothing helped. As a last resort, someone told them to try a Catholic
> school. Those nuns are tough they said. David was soon enrolled at
> St. Mary's. After school on the very first day David ran through the
> door and straight to his room, without even kissing his mother hello.
> He started studying furiously, books and papers spread out all over his
> room. Right after dinner he ran upstairs without mentioning TV, and hit
> the books harder than before. His parents were amazed. This behaviour
> continued for weeks, until report card day arrived. David quietly laid
the
> envelope on the table, and went to his room. With great trepidation, his
> mother opened the report. David had gotten an A in math! She ran up to
> his room, threw her arms around him and asked, David honey, how did
> this happen? Was it the nuns? No!, said David. On the first day of
> school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't
> fooling around


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## Boszi (2005 Április 28)




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## saga (2005 Május 26)

The Penis Study...

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see
why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one
year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was
larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published their study, France decided to do
their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they
concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure
during sex.

Newfoundland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted
their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, plus 2
cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand
from flying off and hitting him in the forehead!!!


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## Spanky (2005 Június 6)

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"





"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."



"Triple filter?"



"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.



The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"





"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and.." 



"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"



"No, on the contrary." "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"



The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter--the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"



"No, not really."



"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"



The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.



It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.


----------



## MarikaH (2005 Június 6)

Ez mind szep es jo...............de Platorol koztudott nem a nok erdekeltek szerelem teren. Akkor, hogy is volt ez ??


----------



## Boszi (2005 Június 15)

QUOTES BY GREAT LADIES
Inside every older lady is a younger lady -- wondering what the hell
happened.
CoraHarvey Armstrong-
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her
up with cookies.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)-
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my
head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-
The phrase "working mother"! is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at
once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning.
-CatherineAird-
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb,
and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country..
-Elayne Boosler-
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything
done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.
-Gloria Steinem-
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
Zsa - Zsa Gabor-
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
Send this to all the bright women you know and make their day.
Every woman I know is bright --so I am sending it to all!!!!!


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## Spanky (2005 Augusztus 10)

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped
at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a
sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife
playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last
year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This
bull mated 120 times last year. " The wife gave her husband a healthy
jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from
him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in
capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so
excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a
day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the
same cow."

*NOTE:* The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable
and he should eventually make a full recovery


----------



## Spanky (2005 Augusztus 10)

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we 
all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I 
heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner 
peace. 

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the 
things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I 
started and hadn't finished and so before leaving the house this morning 
I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle 
of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of 
both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, some 
Saltines and a box of Chocolates. 

You have no idea how freaking good I feel!! futyul 

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.


----------



## lili (2005 Szeptember 8)

If the Bushies had been running the investigation into the sinking of the Titanic here is what the findings would have been:
1) The captain of the ship can't be held responsible because he was asleep at the time of the collision. O.K.? Forget him. He should get a medal for sleeping so soundly through all the chaos.
2) The third mate SHOULD have anticipated an iceberg and STOPPED the ship fifty miles before one came into view. He should be given a sea trial and shot.
3) The cabin steward didn't do enough because if he had JUST overloaded the lifeboats by something like three hundred percent, there wouldn't have been a single soul lost.
4) And finally and most importantly, the passengers are to blame. Those passengers that didn't have the foresight to FORCE their way onto a lifeboat are obviously to blame. The steerage passengers also share blame in that if they had had the good sense to be wealthy, they wouldn't have gotten locked below with no way out. Every "victim" of Titanic is therefore a willing participant in his/her death.

At least the captain of the Titanic GOT UP when they hit an iceberg. If Bush had been in charge, by the time he got up, showered, had breakfast and toured the upper decks, the ship's bow would have already been underwater and the stern would be in the process of breaking off.

______________________


Bush To Lead Investigation of Bush
President Bush this morning promised to lead an investigation of himself, because it is important.

Bush hopes to find out why Bush flew quickly to San Diego in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, and why, while there, Bush attempted to play the guitar.

Bush also hopes to find out why Bush cut funds to levee rehabilitation in Louisiana.

Further Bush hopes to discover the reason Bush appointed a horse association boss to run FEMA and why Bush cut funds to the organization as well.

Bush will investigate the reasons for Bushs high praise of the Dept. of Homeland Securitys and Femas response to the catastrophe on the Gulf Coast while thousands were left to fend for themselves for days on end.

Bush wants to know what Bush was doing at a retirment community on August 29 and just why Bush was holding a birthday cake for John McCaine that day, as well.

Bush wants to figure out just why Bush never realized a Category 4 storm could flood New Oreleans when everyone else in the country knew.

Bush will look into the reasons Bush has refused to take seriously the loss of marsh lands along the Louisiana Coast and why Bush thinks global warming is a sham.

Bush also wants to know how all those national guardsmen and women got to Iraq and what they are up to there.

Bush wants to know why Bush supports Judge Michael Chernoff and exactly why Bush appointed him head of Homeland Security to begin with.

Bush also will investiage why Bush never knew there were poor people around anyway.

Bush also intends to find out once and for all just what Bush is always smiling about.

Finally, Bush plans to discover just why the front porch of Sen. Trent Lotts home was allowed to be destroyed.

In other words the Bush committee will get to the bottom of Bushs bottom.


----------



## lili (2005 Szeptember 8)

An overlooked Rove talking point: This is all the fault of the French, who picked the location of New Orleans in the first place. :rohog


----------



## lili (2005 Szeptember 8)

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/


----------



## lili (2005 Szeptember 15)

Wanda Sykes on Jay Leno 

Jay: "But President Bush took responsibility."

Wanda: "I don't think the President should have taken responsibility.... I don't blame the President. I blame the American people. Y'all knew the man was slow when you voted him in. You can't blame the blind man for wrecking your car when you're the one who gave him the keys."

############


----------



## Spanky (2005 Szeptember 24)

*Living in Canada*


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA*

1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.

2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.

3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.

4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.

5. BC bud.

6 BC bud


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA*

1. Big Rock between you and B. C.

2. Ottawa who?

3. Tax is 7 per cent instead of approximately 200 per cent for the
rest of the country.

4. Flames vs. Oilers.

5. Stamps vs. Eskies.

6. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.

7. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its
own country.

8. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN*

1. You never run out of wheat.

2. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.

3. Your province is really easy to draw.

4. You never have to worry about car roll-back if you have a standard
transmission.

5. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house.

6. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.

7. People will assume you live on a farm.

8. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA*

1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront
property.


2. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal
government.

3. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.

4. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.

5. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.

6. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.

7. Because of your licence plate, you are still friendly even when
you someone off.

8. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO*

1. You live in the centre of the universe.

2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.

3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.

4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from
what? You are the centre of the universe.

5. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

6. Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a
dollar.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC*

1. Racism is socially acceptable.

2. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.

3. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will
move out next.

4. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.

5. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%".


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK*

1. One way or another, the government gets 98 per cent of your income.

2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.

3. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.

4. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists
to Boston.

5. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.

6. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

7. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.

8. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA*

1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.

2. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.

3. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get
drunk and wear a kilt.

4. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.

5. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
Canada's most beautiful city.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND*

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got
the big, new bridge.

2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.

3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".

4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.

5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.

6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then
promptly leave.

7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.

8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.

9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for
that matter.

10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at
night.


*TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND*

1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.

2. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them
kiss dead cod.

3. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.

4. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.

5. You and only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.

6. The workday is about two hours long.

7. You are credited with many great inventions, like the
solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines.

8. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding.


----------



## lili (2005 Szeptember 24)

[attachmentid=20953]


Mommie, I'm bor-r-r-ed!

Can I go outside to ride my bike??

This is so boring. But Rove tells me I gotta look like I'm involved. 
I wanna go to Crawford.


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## Gabizita (2005 Szeptember 24)

meno meno Lilli es Spanky . Tetszettek


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## lili (2005 Október 28)

http://www.schwarzeneggerstreet.com/


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## Boszi (2005 Október 28)




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## Spanky (2005 November 1)

This morning, 

from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, 

Taliban Minister of Migration, 

Mohammed Omar, 

warned Canada that,

if military action against Iraq continues, 

Taliban authorities will halt Canada's supply 

of convenience store managers. 



If this action doesn't yield sufficient results, 

cab drivers will be next.


----------



## Spanky (2005 November 2)

Theory of Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Toronto chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas



s when it expands and heats when its compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. 
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.
With Birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. 
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. 
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence
of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
"Oh my God."

*This student received the only "A".*


----------



## Spanky (2005 November 8)

*Nominated UK Best Short Joke of 2004*







I was asked to run a marathon. I said, "Piss off".



They said "come on, it's for spastics and blind kids."



Then I thought...fuck, I could win this...


----------



## dialuna (2005 November 8)

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Boszi @ Oct 27 2005, 09:38 PM) [post=253974]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>





[/b][/quote]


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## Spanky (2006 November 26)

Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

He is playing a U2 concert in Scotland</ST1 when he asks the audience for total quiet.

Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands, once everyfew seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone,

"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice with a broad Scottish accent, from near the front of the crowd, pierces the silence.............

"Well, fukin stop doin it then!"
<O</O
<O


----------



## sparrow (2006 November 26)

Spanky írta:


> Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
> 
> He is playing a U2 concert in Scotland when he asks the audience for total quiet.
> 
> ...


----------



## Spanky (2006 November 26)

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what's the
difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if
she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a
million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Mom, would you sleep with
Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I
would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you
kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad
Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom
Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you
know how much a million could buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes, Sir. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three
million dollars ............ but, Realistically ......... we're living
with two sluts and a queer.
<!-- / message -->


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## oma (2006 November 26)

Spanky írta:


> Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
> 
> He is playing a U2 concert in Scotland when he asks the audience for total quiet.
> 
> ...






<hr style="color: rgb(209, 209, 225);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> :grin:

It's not just Bono, who is increasingly desperate to parade the "ethically enlightened" tag. :wink: It could be good or bad; it depends..


----------



## VictorM (2006 November 30)

DEFINITIONS

DOCTOR
A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills. 

BOSS
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

TEARS
The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power. 

RUMOR
News that travels more than the speed of sound. 

DICTIONARY
The only place where divorce comes before marriage. 

MARRIAGE
It' s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master. 

FATHER
A banker provided by nature. 

POLITICIAN
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. 

SMILE
A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

OPTIMIST
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 

DIPLOMAT
A person who tells you to go hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 

ETC (et cetera)
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 

COMMITTEE
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

OFFICE
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


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## E.Ágnes (2006 December 1)

I'm laughing my head off at these!


----------



## VictorM (2006 December 1)

Where You from? Judapest?

Chaired White Castle = Székesfehérvár
Buy Fur = Veszprém
Pacific Csaba = Békéscsaba
Saturday Place = Szomathely
Pop mine = Tatabánya
On Wash Hungarian Old Castle = Mosonmagyaróvár
Donau New Town = Dunaújváros
Big Cirled = Nagykőrös
Small Circled = Kiskőrös
Round One House = Kerekegyháza
Reed Garden = Nádudvar
Tisza Bath = Tiszafüred
His Small Circle = Kisköre
Have Six = Hatvan
Balaton Bath = Balatonfüred
Very Bad Iron = Szarvas
Pearly = Gyöngyös
Legless = Lábatlan
Tisza pushes= Tiszalök
Sixty=Hatvan
Village Of Shovel B =Bélapátfalva
Mizs Of Louis=Lajosmizse
Saint S=Szentes
Red One House=Veresegyház
Wish Of Balaton=Balaonakarattya
Little Hold It =Kistarcsa
Patch =Fót
Free Flying=Szabadszállás
Nutty D=Diósd
Turkish Valentine=Törökbálint
Starhill=Csillaghegy
Girlvillage=Leányfalu
Pope=Pápa
Richfield=Gazdagrét
Froggy Goes R=Békásmegyer
Eaglecastle=Sasvár
Saxon Pile Fucked It = Szászhalombatta : )
Eugene Nutty = Diósjenő
Gentleman Well = Úrkút
Her Lip = Ajka
Lower Patrol = Alsóőrs
Willow Main = Fűzfő
Reach It = Érd
Salty Well = Sóskút
Not S Beary = Nemesmedves
Island Saint Michael = Szigetszentmiklós
One House Of The South = Délegyháza
Panty = Bugyi
Your Peanut = Mogyoród
Big Smithy = Nagykovácsi
Hey Water = Hévíz
Stone Pin = Kőszeg
Sharp Pile = Hegyeshalom
Tower Of Simon = Simontornya
Your Pin = Szeged
Town Shoot It = Városlőd
Field Digs = Mezőtúr
Beaver Field Market Place = Hódmezővásárhely
Russian Girl = Oroszlány
Your Heel = Sarkad
He Would Push You = Tolna
Mallet = Üllő
Castlecastle = Várpalota
Noble Customs = Nemesvámos
Water Town = Viziváros
Queues Mud = Soroksár
Pest Saint Elizabeth = Pestszenterzsébet
Cold Well = Hidegkút
Isaac = Izsák
Veered Grass = Martfű
Horse Well = Lókút
House on Sidewalk = Járdánháza
Citizen = Polgár
I Am Criing = Sirok (kis helyesírási hibával...)
Bottom Of Tent New Place = Sátoraljaújhely
Mud Small River = Sárospatak
Pearly Fisher = Gyöngyöshalász
Mud Bug D = Sárbogárd
He Wolud Steal = Csorna
Stone Pin = Kőszeg
Saint King's Freeman = Szentkirályszabadja
Stonecutter Sentry = Kővágóörs
S lowland = Salföld
Cancered Castle = Rákospalota
Rose Hill = Rózsadomb
Cold Dale = Hűvösvölgy
Fisher's Hedge = Halásztelek
Island Castle = Szigetvár
His Problem = Baja
Hill of Nail = Szeghalom
New Plumy = Újszilvás
Donau Ground Castle = Dunaföldvár
Archbishop Wild Garden = Érsekvadkert
New Saxon = Újszász
Cotton-Wool = Vatta
New White Lake = Újfehértó
Little Brother = Öcs
My Big Problem = Nagybajom
B Apple Z New Town = Balmazújváros
Mór Is The Heap = Mórahalom
Rho Shut Up = Rókus (kis helyesírási hibával)


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## Tuláliber (2006 December 3)

Kedves VictoM ! Remélem nem kapok ki, hogy nem angolul irok. Fantasztikus.
Nagyon szellemes. Nagyon rég nevettem ekkorát. Épp forditgatni akartam a szülőfalum nevét mikor fölbukkant Nagybajom.
A "Chuckles" ill . for chuckles mit jelent ? Most tanulok angolul és minden alkalmat megragadok. Köszi. Gratulálok, ha a fenti sor a te gyüjteményed. Ha nem akkor is. Üdv.
PS: már tudom: kuncogás


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## E.Ágnes (2006 December 4)

Tuláliber írta:


> Kedves VictoM ! Remélem nem kapok ki, hogy nem angolul irok. Fantasztikus.
> Nagyon szellemes. Nagyon rég nevettem ekkorát. Épp forditgatni akartam a szülőfalum nevét mikor fölbukkant Nagybajom.
> A "Chuckles" ill . for chuckles mit jelent ? Most tanulok angolul és minden alkalmat megragadok. Köszi. Gratulálok, ha a fenti sor a te gyüjteményed. Ha nem akkor is. Üdv.
> PS: már tudom: kuncogás


 
Hi (Szia), chuckle means kuncogni, nevetgélni, that is, :``: :lol: . Hope it helps (remélem, segítettem).


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## Tuláliber (2006 December 4)

Kedves E.Ágnes ! Köszönöm. Aranyos vagy. Segitettél. Én igy tanulok. Pl. ezt tőled. Ezt ugy hivom, hogy kaptam ajándékba szavakat. A barátnőmmel szoktunk cserélni, ha találunk valami szellemeset. Kaptam tőle egy hasgombot /köldök/, én cserébe adtam neki feketepudingot /véreshurkát/.
Fogok fölrakni valamit, de remélem nem baj ha magyarul irok. Egyenlőre !
Have fun ! Bye : Tuli


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## taksi (2006 December 6)

Hello, I found some anagram:
An anagram is a rearrangement of the letters of one word or phrase to form another word or phrase. 
http://www.easypeasy.com/anagrams/

"Psychotherapist" -> "Psycho, the rapist"
"funeral"->"Real fun!".
"orchestra""carthorse".
"Clint Eastwood" as "Old West action"
"The best things in life are free" as "Nail-biting refreshes the feet"!! (It is free after all!)
Popular ->Oral Pup ->Pour Alp ->Pour Lap ->Pour Pal ->Pulp Oar


----------



## taksi (2006 December 6)

Az anagramma egy szó betűinek/hangjainak átcsoportosításával alkotott új szó. ANAGRAMMA JÁTÉK-ot magyarul itt találunk:
http://www.anagram.hu/cgi/anagram.cgi?
ANAGRAMMA készítést magyarul itt találunk:http://szotar.sztaki.hu/docs/anagramma/
mákoskalács -> kockás almás 
Omar Sarif -> Fasor Mari


----------



## VictorM (2006 December 8)

*SAYINGS FOR THE INTERNET AGE:*

_1. You can't teach an old mouse new clicks.
2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. Home is where you hang your @.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Windows will never cease.
18. In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
20. Modulation in all things.
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22. There's no place like http://www.home.com
23. Know what to expect before you connect.
24. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
25. Speed thrills.
26. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. 
_


----------



## taksi (2006 December 8)

to Victor M . it's amazing:?))
I found this message on the home.come
The owner of "home.com" domain has changed.
This page will automatically transfer to
the following URL after 10 seconds.

http://www.jp.home.com

Thank you, it was funny


----------



## csocsike (2006 December 24)

Unga Bunga
Once there were three scientists who were walking in the woods. They were searching for butterflies. While they were sleeping that night a tribe captured them and put them in a tent. The first guy wakes up and sees the tribe cheif with a spear he says: Death or Unga Bunga? The first guy says: Unga bunga because I don't want to die! So they take him away. Unga Bunga is a guy with a ten foot long dick and he sticks it up the other guys butt for ten seconds and then the second guy wakes up and he sees the first guy come staggering back saying: Pick death! Pick death! But the guy doesn't believe him so he picks Unga Bunga. And then the same thing happens to him. Then the third guy wakes up and see the guy staggering back saying: Pick Death! So the guy figues that what the heck? And he picks death and then the chief says: Death! by Unga Bunga!


----------



## Spanky (2007 Február 10)

Warning: I found this game to be addictive!


<O</O​
http://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swf


----------



## klari (2007 Február 19)

Spanky írta:


> Warning: I found this game to be addictive!​
> 
> 
> <O</O​
> http://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swfhttp://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swfhttp://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swfhttp://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swfhttp://www.hornygamer.com/games/concentration.swf


 

I don't know why, Spanky. I had no trouble finding the ball.


----------



## tulipan_hajnal (2007 Március 31)

A small boy is standing next to an escalator. He is looking at the handrail.
- Is there something wrong? - asks a shop assistant
- No. I'm just waiting for my chewing gum to come back


----------



## tulipan_hajnal (2007 Március 31)

- I think I'm going to lose my job in the flower shop tomorrow.
- Why?
- I sent flowers to a funeral with the wrong card on them.
- What did the card say?
- HOPE YOU'LL BE HAPPY IN YOUR NEW HOME


- Mum, does God go to the bathroom?
- No, son, why do you ask?
- well, every morning dad goes to the bathroom, knocks on the door and shouts, "Oh God, are you still in there?"


----------



## Spanky (2007 Április 20)

WOO HOO FOR SCIENCE!!!!


Time for you to talk with your doctor about that gallon of water you drink.​


In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.​
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whisky, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.​
Remember:
Water = Poop
Wine = Health​
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.​
There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.​


----------



## zolcsika (2007 Április 28)

*Blondie funny*

 Blondeis joke


----------



## E.Ágnes (2007 Május 7)

*Welfare Claims*

For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a certain level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Departmentin applications for support of receiving payments. 

<HR>



I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper. 

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money? 

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy. 

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why? 

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead. 

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it. 

Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows. 

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born. 

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory. 

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see. 

My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since. 

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life. 

You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference? 

I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day. 

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor. 
In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. 

http://www.badpets.net/Humor/Dumb/SillyWelfare.html


----------



## roni85 (2007 Június 13)

[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]*Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Canada, eh!*[/FONT]​ * [These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website…] *
* 
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) 
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. 

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) 
A: Depends how much you've been drinking. 

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) 
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) 
A: So its true what they say about Swedes. 

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) 
A: Let's not touch this one. 

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) 
A: What did your last slave die of? 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) 
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. 

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) 
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) 
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) 
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is… oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. 

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) 
A: No, WE don't stink. 

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) 
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. 

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK) 
A: You are an American politician, right? 

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) 
A: Yes, gay nightclubs. 

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) 
A: Only at Thanksgiving. 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) 
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal. 

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) 
A: All Canadian rattlesnakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets. 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) 
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. 

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) 
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. 

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) 
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.**

Q: How do you pronounce Canada?
A: C-eh-N-eh-D-eh

Q: What's that machine that farmers harvest wheat with in Canada?
A: Concubines*​


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## Hahalman (2007 Június 14)

roni85 írta:


> [FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]*Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Canada, eh!*[/FONT]


 
Priceless!!!


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## Spanky (2007 Június 14)

For all Employees Who Work with Rude Customers 


 An award should go to the Westjet gate attendant in Kelowna some 12

 months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when

 confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.



 A crowded flight was cancelled after Westjet's 767s had been

 Withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of

 inconvenienced travellers.



 Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped

 His ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it

 HAS to be FIRST CLASS".



 The attendant replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help

 you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to

 work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so

 That the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"



 Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public

 address microphone: "May I have your attention please; may I have your

 attention please", she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the

 terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE

 IS.

 If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."



 With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man

 glared at the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F... You!"



 Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit) "I'm sorry,

 sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."


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## roni85 (2007 Június 15)

:lol:
*
Technologically Challenged*


1. Compaq is considering changing the instruction "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. 


2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packed in. 


3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. 


4. A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to FAX anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to FAX a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor's screen and pressing the "Send" key. 


5. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find the printer." The user said that he had also turned the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't see the printer. 


6. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in she responded, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The foot pedal turned out to be the computer's mouse. 


7. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant remove Disk 1 first. 


8. True story from a Novell NetWire System Operator ... Caller "Hello is this tech support?" Tech: "Yes it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting it fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say cup holder?" Caller: " Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, or at a trade show? How did you receive this cup holder? Does it have any trade mark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." (At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he was laughing too hard.) The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder.


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## Puszedliufo (2007 Június 16)

wehehe


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## Rayman (2007 Július 28)

HI Boszi !


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## roni85 (2007 Szeptember 4)

*BELIEVE it or not;These are REAL 911 Calls!

**Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Caller:**I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Dispatcher:**Do you havean address?**[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Dispatcher! **:9-1-1 What is your emergency?*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Caller** :Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich.*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Dispatcher** :Excuse me?*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Caller** :I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.*[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]*Dispatcher** :**Was anything else taken?[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]Caller :No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
of it![FONT=&quot]

[/FONT]Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]-->* *Dispatcher:** 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
**Caller:**My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart**
**Dispatcher:** Is this her first child?**
Caller:**No, you idiot! This is her husband!**

**[FONT=&quot]And the winner is..........[/FONT]**
Dispatcher:** 9-1-1
**Caller:**Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.**
**Dispatcher:** Sir, where are you calling from?
**Caller:**I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.**
Dispatcher: ** Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
**Caller:**No**
**Dispatcher:** What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
**Caller:**Running from the Police* <o>></o>>

*[FONT=&quot] <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]-->[/FONT]*


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## Spanky (2007 Szeptember 24)

*Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books,*

*"Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.*

*One student turned in the following book report, With
the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.


Titanic:..... Cost - $29.99

Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read

Clinton :.... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton :..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton :..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton :..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton :..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton :. Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton :..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton :..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

*


----------



## E.Ágnes (2007 Szeptember 24)

Spanky írta:


> *Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
> 
> Clinton :..... Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.
> 
> *


 
Geeeez... :mrgreen:


----------



## E.Ágnes (2007 Szeptember 24)

*Weird spelling*






More weird spelling and grammar mistakes here:
http://news.uk.msn.com/illiterate_britain_two.aspx


----------



## Spanky (2007 Szeptember 27)

*Two ways of looking at everything.*
<O</O
</O

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
<O</O

My wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

<O</O

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"


----------



## Puszedliufo (2007 Szeptember 27)

:d:d:d


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 1)

A man and a woman, who have never met before but are both married to otherpeople, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on atranscontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharinga room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upperbunk and she in the lower. 

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am,I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closetto get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." 

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend thatwe're married." 

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. 

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!" 

After a moment of silence, he farted.


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 2)

*Sometimes these "heartwarming" stories are a bit too soppy for me but this one is truly interesting...*

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. 
Peter
stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant. :evil::mrgreen:


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## Spanky (2007 Október 7)

http://www.risingstarkaraoke.com/monday_test.html

:-D


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## TrafficLight (2007 Október 10)

Spanky írta:


> http://www.risingstarkaraoke.com/monday_test.html
> 
> :-D


How is your love life now...?


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 26)

In Jerusalem, an American female journalist heard about an old rabbi who 
visited the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long 
time. 

In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he 
is! She watches the bearded old man at prayer--and after about 45 
minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview. 
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN, sir, how long have you been coming to the 
Wailing Wall and praying?" 

"For about 50 years", he informs her. 
"50 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" 
"I pray for peace between the Jews and the Arabs. I pray for all the 
hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and 
friendship." 

"And how do you feel, sir, after doing this for 50 years?" 

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall..."
<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 28)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwidget-98.slide.com%2Fwidgets%2Fsf.swf&v=1XmHJfv3EK0


----------



## E.Ágnes (2007 Október 28)

*"This video or group may contain content that is inappropriate for some users, as flagged by YouTube's user community. To view this video or group, please verify you are 18 or older by logging in **or signing up**."*​ 
(this message came up after I clicked on the link)
So you're into some funny business here, aren't you?


----------



## Hahalman (2007 Október 28)

Spanky írta:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?eurl=http://widget-98.slide.com/widgets/sf.swf&v=1XmHJfv3EK0


Priceless...:mrgreen:


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 28)

E.Ágnes írta:


> *"This video or group may contain content that is inappropriate for some users, as flagged by YouTube's user community. To view this video or group, please verify you are 18 or older by logging in **or signing up**."*​
> 
> (this message came up after I clicked on the link)
> So you're into some funny business here, aren't you?


 
who??? Me??? Never! :11::mrgreen:


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 28)

*Why sex before marriage is essential*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmrXpHVdGAo

:shock:


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 28)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jHEq5oGLXE


----------



## Spanky (2007 Október 28)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_VlVckrUgY


----------



## Spanky (2007 November 17)

*Finally,** 
a definition of globalization** 
I can understand and to which
I now can relate:* 
* Question**:** 
What is the truest definition*
* of**Globalization  **?* 

* Answer**:**

Princess
Diana's
death.** 
Question**: ** How come?**
Answer** :**
An
English
princess
with
an
Egyptian boyfriend*​ 


* crashes
in a French* ​ 
* tunnel,
driving
a* ​ 
* German
car*​ 
* with a
Dutch engine,* ​ 
* driven
by a Belgian* ​ 
* who was
drunk* ​ 
* on
Scottish whisky,* ​ 
* (check the bottle before you
change the spelling),* ​ 
*
followed
closely by* ​ 
* Italian
Paparazzi,*​ 
* on
Japanese motorcycles;* ​ 
* treated
by an American doctor,
using*​ 
* Brazilian
medicines.*​ 
* This
is
sent to you by* ​ 
* an
Austrian,* ​ 
* using
**Bill Gates's technology,* ​ 
* and
you're probably reading
this on your computer,*​ 
* that
uses Taiwanese* ​ 
* chips,
and a* ​ 
* Korean
monitor,*​ 
* assembled
by** Bangladeshi
workers**in a
Singapore plant, *​ 
* transported
by
Indian**lorry-drivers, ** hijacked
by Indonesians,**unloaded by 
Sicilian longshoremen,*​ 
*and*
*trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....* * ..* 




* That, my friends,*
*is**Globalization*​


----------



## Spanky (2008 Augusztus 2)

*Family Guy - Somewhere in Afghanistan*

*Family Guy - Somewhere in Afghanistan*


http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/fg-afghanistan-p1.php


----------



## magyar1964 (2009 Január 14)

Thanks everyone!!


----------



## tamasbogar (2009 Február 1)

That was a funny but ...realistic one, too! Espeacially that part about women...


----------



## tamasbogar (2009 Február 1)

Boszi írta:


> Subject: Even God enjoys a laugh!
> 
> 
> There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
> ...


My apologies, I forgot that my "reaction" would appear much farther from the joke I read ... So: reaction revisited ... and updated


----------



## Spanky (2009 Február 2)

http://ca.video.yahoo.com/network/100076996?v=4409180&l=5499020


----------

